We
were sliding down the mountainside, the edge getting nearer and nearer.
“Aaaaahhh!” West and I screamed loudly. The sharp wind cut through
our snow jackets, and whipped past our faces. We both had brown hair
flying behind us. My hazel eyes were wide with terror. We’re going to die, I thought. We’re going to slide into the lake and die! I don’t want to die! Not like this!
Back
then I was ten years old. In the Summer of 2011, me, my mom, dad, and
brother, West, who was eight years old at the time, were camping in the
Marble Mountain Wilderness, a bunch of mountains in Northern California.
We had set up our tent close to a lake, and the mountain Castle Rock
was on the opposite side of the lake. We had decided to climb up the
steep mountain (and managed), and then wanted to get back down, so we
were going to slide down on our butts part of the way and stay close
together by holding onto a rope. The only problem was that the lake,
with really cold water in it, was right below the mountain, and that’s
right where we were needing to slide down. It seemed as if we were
certain to slide into the lake if we slid down the mountain.
“Sierra,
you slide down in front,” my mom, with her curly brown hair, had said
to me, carefully balancing and standing on the ice in her snow pants
and snow jacket, trying not to slip. Actually, we were all wearing snow
pants and snow jackets. We looked very funny. “No way!” I replied.
“We’re all going to slide right into the lake!” “Don’t worry honey,
we’ll turn to the right before we slide to the edge of the mountain,” my
short-haired and tall dad reassured me. “No, Sierra’s gonna fall into
the lake, but we’ll be fine,” West remarked even though I knew he was
scared too. I didn’t listen to what he had said, but was still afraid.
I was not looking
forward to getting even more wet and freezing then I already was from
sinking into the snow and slipping so many times before, not even
stating the possibility that we could drown if we were to fall in! The
lake would be like a giant monster who swallowed it’s prey alive in one
big gulp, which would not be fun. Also, I had to ride in front, meaning
that I would hit the water first. Ouch! But, we all got situated, and
started sliding down. Our hair was flying behind us because of the
wind. That was when me and West started screaming “Aaaaaahhh!”
Lean
to the right,” my dad suddenly ordered, in a bold voice. We all did as
we were told. I was leaning so far I was about to fall over. “Now,
slow us down a little, Sierra, I need you to push your feet into the
snow!” my mom yelled. I did that as best I could, and gradually, we
were losing speed. Suddenly, we were almost to the edge. But then we
were turning right! We weren’t falling into the lake! We slowed down,
stopped sliding, and hiked the rest of the way down Castle Rock on
foot. I was so glad that I wanted to dance, but I knew if I did that I
would probably slip and then fall into the lake after all of what had
just happened!
that is an awesome story! I liked how you made the story interesting by creating a scary atmosphere! It really keeps you on your toes!:D
ReplyDeleteGreat story sierra! I love how you create an atmosphere of scariness it keeps you on your toes!:D
ReplyDeleteGood details and dialogue.
ReplyDeleteGood story. I liked how you hooded your reader and made make it suspenseful.
ReplyDeleteI liked the dialogue.
ReplyDeletei like how scary you made it sound and that you said how you felt :D
ReplyDeletehe lake would be like a giant monster who swallowed it’s prey alive in one big gulp. I love this metaphor
ReplyDelete